John 2:1 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” 4 And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” 6 Now standing there were six stone water jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. 8 He said to them, “Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward.” So they took it. 9 When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom 10 and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.” 11 Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.
This is the first of Jesus’ miracles in the gospel of John. I’m drawn to the last verse “and his disciples believed in him”. What exactly does that mean? I’m not sure. When we read the gospel accounts of Jesus, the disciples appear to have days when their faith in Jesus is strong and others when it’s not. Mostly not. Several times Jesus himself describes his disciples as “you of little faith”. He says, “How long must I put up with you?”
I’m pretty sure Jesus would say the same things to me. I have good days and bad days in relationship to my faith. One day I have courage, the next I don’t. I can let fear and anxiety get the better of me at times. I hedge. But since faith is a gift of God anyway, I have hope that I can get better. My faith can grow, with God’s help.
Today I’m thinking of places in my life where I need to exercise faith, where I need to trust God for something I can’t possibly do on my own. At this particular moment, my young adult children come to mind. I’ve mentioned many times the challenge of letting go of them as they’ve become adults. Sometimes it’s really hard for me. I see them moving in ways that I expect will not end well. I do my best to offer input when appropriate, but that’s about all I can do. They’re not little children anymore, or even teenagers. I know this in my head, but in my heart I want to protect them, guard them, keep them from the landmines of life. But that’s not my role anymore. It’s hard. Really, really hard.
That said, knowing that they’ve been raised in the faith, that the Word of God has been sown into them since the day they were born, that the Lord holds them in his hands even now, I find grace to trust that God is working in them. And in me. And my anxiety gives way to peace that passes understanding. Lord, let it be so. Amen.